oops! didnt realize it had been that long. Lots has happened and i will put a shorter version than happened in real life. First off, i am still going strong on the weight loss... Im down to 261.1 and i am very proud of that. I got my job back working at the jail and its really effecting my eating.they have a room that is the size of my kitchen and living room together full of vending machines.... ice cream, candy, pizza, all kinds of crap and i LOVE THAT ROOM! I am having issues with self esteem and finding myself attractive and its really hurting my relationship. Hes putting up with it for now, but im not sure how much longer he can go without.. well, i dont need to put it...
I know im losing weight and im looking and feeling alot better, but i have no idea why i feel so UGH about myself. I dont want him to see me after a shower, dont cuddle with me, dont touch me. And i feel really bad. I think its the hormone theropy that i have recently been put on. I think its messing with my female balance. Which is NOT helping our relationship!! I just feel soooo tired because of my work schedule. Its working 16 hours one day, then the night shift the next, and then the eve shift... so my body isnt getting the normal sleep it was getting before which is making me not want to work out AT ALL. id rather just stay curled up in my bed with Nick laying next to me playing his DS. Whatever, i am just venting now. All in all, its been a good 2 months... ive got a lot of weight to go still but im hoping after april 7(my final foot appt) i will get the clear to run so i can start running again.
